Achieve more by making big goals optional
How to achieve more by making your big goals optional
How to achieve big goals? Make them optional

I'm writing this blog post on December 31st of 2021, which isn't particularly relevant except for the fact that my gym is about to get much more crowded with a lot of people chasing their new year's resolutions. It usually calms down again by mid-February when 95% of this group stops returning.

This is maybe the 10th year I've experienced this phenomenon. I go to the gym quite often: maybe 2-3x weekly for interval-style training, 1-2x weekly to play volleyball and 1-2x for just weight training or rock climbing. I've been doing this (with varying intensity) for more than a decade now. Prior to that I was a bit overweight and hadn't figured out a way of exercise (or diet) that really worked for me.

It's easy to fall into a cycle of using goals to add pressure to yourself and then, because you don't yet know how to achieve those goals, feeling guilty about not making making them.

But I've had fitness goals for my entire life, so why did it take me so long to get in shape?

It turns out that wanting the outcome isn't the problem, the hard part is knowing how to get there.

Making your big goals optional can help focus light on the underlying aspects of reaching that goal that really need to be arranged before that goal is possible.

Most big goals are not fully solvable in advance

It's important to notice that for most big goals the actual endpoint of the goal is blurry, there are too many unknowns to understand it perfectly. You might have a general idea of what you want (e.g. get in shape, grow a successful startup, etc.) but unless you've accomplished this goal before you probably don't know exactly how to do it yet. Even clarifying exactly what the goal outcome itself might look like only goes so far: the process for reaching that goal often remains unknown.

Each goal is different for each person, each context, each year – and there is a surprising amount of complexity to all of them. Let's take fitness for example: we each have different genetics, different work schedules, different dietary preferences, and much more. Sure, at some point calories in = calories out, and to lose weight that needs to be negative, but exactly how to make it work in your situation is incredibly variable.

Achieving big goals is a process of experimentation, learning, and time. It is more effective and easier to optimize your motivations, learning, and resilience than it is to keep adding more pressure to yourself.

Did you know that going to the gym often leads to increased appetite which leads to new gym-goers frequently gaining weight?

What is an optional goal?

The purpose of an optional goal is to move your focus from the outcome of a goal to the intrinsic motivating factors and the process necessary to achieve that outcome. An optional goal is there to help guide you and encourage experimentation toward a specific outcome without adding unnecessary stress that often leads to abandoning long-term efforts. An optional goal is a roadmap there to assist you, not a stick waiting to make you feel guilty for a wrong turn.

1. An optional goal is something you would like to achieve, but that does not come with any "deadlines" or added pressure to achieve it.
2. An optional goal should not push you, it should provide guidance to help you realize the things that you want naturally.
3. An optional goal provides direction and guidance, maybe even including dates to help you understand time horizons
4. An optional goal is flexible and malleable as you learn and experiment
5. An optional goal requires learning to be intrinsically motivated to do the actions leading to the outcome
6. An optional goal does not punish efforts that don't work. In the scientific process an incorrect hypothesis is a key aspect of progress, and it is the same with reaching a big goal.

With an optional goal you don't achieve the goal by adding more pressure, you achieve the goal by solving a puzzle that leads to aligned motivations, habits, and processes that lead to that goal. And you learn how to do those things easily, habitually, and to keep doing those things long after you've hit your original target.

Optional goals can be big and bold (without fear of failure)

When I think about my fitness goals

When optional goals don't make sense

Optional goals are just one method: use what works best

Reaching a big goal is about experimentation

Mastering your long-term motivations is the first obstacle

Finding a daily process is the next challenge

Motivation + Learning + Time = Continuous Progress

Most people miss their goals for one of two reasons:

1. they don't understand how to achieve that goal in a way that is compatible with their life and self.
2. They don't understand their motivations and maybe don't actually want that goal              

One of the most common reasons to set a goal is to add a sort of pressure around completing something that you want to achieve. By setting a big goal you can increase motivation and build up drive toward accomplishing that goal – which is the best way to actually get it done?